Today I was workinf for British Military Fitness, helping them run a team building day for a TV company (television as opposed to transvestite!!). It was out in the beautiful Surrey countryside. Why is it when I'm going to be in the outdoors all day it rains? I know, 'if it aint rainin' it aint trainin!' After an early start and some horrendous traffic we made it to the venue. A greasy bacon sarnie and a coffee then I was dropped off in a field, set my event up and kicked back and waited for the first group to arrive. The idea was that for the successful completiton of the task the teams were to be rewarded with a currency, the team with the most dosh at the end of the day won- simple. My challenge was challenging, believe it or not, so I wasn't giving out much dosh. I had loads of fun getting the not so talented teams to grovel, on bended knee, kissing my feet. The power trip was awesome, all for fake money. If only it was that easy in the real world.
We had a BBQ lunch and then it was back out to the activities for the afternoon. This is when it started hotting up, I was getting hugs and kisses for my fake money but the piece de resistance came when the last team were trundling through as I was packing up. As they came running down the hill two of the young ladies in the team flashed their breasts at me. I couldn't believe my eyes, but held firm and refused to be bribed so cheaply. I was playing hardball, in more ways than one!! The girls in the team lined up in front of me and gave me a breastican wave, basically one by one they pulled there tops up to reveal their puppies, mamma mia!! Thankyou for the mamories ladies. It's a tough old life getting paid a handsome sum to have ladies flashing, hugging and kissing you all day, I feel like a whore!!
Before all the teams arrived we had some time so we had a go at some archery. I must say I was a bit of a modern day robin hood, I like all that stealing form the rich lark but the giving to the poor bit.......... I say fuck em', they should get a job! Charity begins at home!!
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