Bah Humbug!!

So, the Christmas season is nearly over and has passed by very uneventfully for me!! This is by no means a complaint, infact I have loved the fact that I have had (almost) no one to please this festive period apart from myself!! This may sound selfish but it's been really relaxing to have a bit of time to myself to just relax and reflect on a great year. I have missed not spending time with my folks and my bro but I will be doing so soon and not under the banner of christmas. It is supposed to be a jolly time of year where one and all can enjoy the company of their nearest and dearest and have a break from the rigours of day to day life. For a lot of people who I have spoken to over the last few weeks it's been nothing but stress. Mad dashes for presents and crackers and turkeys. Constant cleaning and preparing for the influx of family and friends on the 'big' day. People are getting all hot under the collar to make sure it all goes down with a bang. Doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of having some time off to chill. I also dread to think the amount of hard earned cash that has been spent in this time of financial crisis, it baffles me. Call me scrooge or whatever but I can't understand the love for this fake time of year. Christmas is for kids in my opinion and they should have the time of their lives but us adults and even teenagers should chill out with the whole yule tide festivities. Yes, have time with your loved ones. Yes, have a drink and eat some crappy food. Yes, put your feet up and do as little as possible. No, don't drive yourself to distraction with presents and cleaning and cooking otherwise by the time January comes you'll need a week off to get over it all.

My christmas day was awesome, I finished work t 9am and went for a nice long run , worked out in the gym at work and went home. Once home I put my feet up and watched TV, felt a bit tired so went to bed for a couple of hours. I woke up and didn't fancy getting out of bed so stuck a film on and relaxed in bed for another couple of hrs. I then went to a mates house and had a couple of beers, watched a film and played on the Wii. It was almost perfect, I pleased myself. I would have loved to have seen my family of course but I will be there in the next week so no dramas.

I have decided that from this year forth I will not allow christmas to become a stressful time, it should be a time to recharge the batteries after a long, hard year and enjoy the company of those you care about. Here's to stress free Christmas' from here on in.

Pole dancing Extravaganza

Last friday was the Islington Red Watch christmas party, we went to the 'Miss Pole Dance UK, Christmas Ball. The lads went to the actual competition, where they crowned Miss pole dance UK, a few months back and had an absolute blast. The event was a masked ball and we had VIP tickets. It was all set up to be a good one.

We started in the bar over the road from the station and had to wait there for some time, firemen tend to be tarts and some spend hours preening themselves!!! We finally managed to get everyone together, about 13 of us all told, and headed for the venue. Dumber was already pissed by this point and his future was looking bleak! Into 3 taxis and on our way to Scala for a night of shennanigans. On our entry to the club we were handed our masks, I donned mine with pride and was looking hot to trot. It wasn't very busy when we arrived but the ratio of women to men was superb. All the women were dressed in pole dancing/ burlesque style and it was a veritable feast for the eyes.

We made our way to the VIP area but it was a bit detached from the stage area and dance floor, not an ideal location. Once everyone was masked up we had a team photo and then went our own separate ways, I wanted to be as far away from the guv as possible as he was getting the worse for wear and behaving like an embarrassing dad. Dumber headed straight for the dance floor and was hitting on anything that moved. Isn't it funny that drunk is attracted to drunk. Dumber managed to team up with the drunkest, not to mention largest, women in the club/world and together they caused havoc. They hugged and knocked each other off balance, taking out about 10 other revellers almost like ten pin bowling, it was hilarious. I noticed his beau being escorted off the premises a little while later, by 2 burly doormen, however, dumber was unperterbed and continued to harass anything in a skirt for the rest of the night. watching him get rebuffed over and over again was hilarious. Fair play to him though as he ploughed on regardless.

I was enjoying myself too, being one of only 30ish men in a crowd of hundreds of people is a lot of fun!! The pole dancing itself was a spectacle to behold, the strength and athletisism displayed by these women was incredible. I was in awe of the power and fitness they exhibited and was dying to have a go and see what my bad self could do. I was to be granted my wish, I was up in the VIP area with Dave and couldn't hold my urges back any longer. I told him the next time he saw me I would be atop the pole, he told me I didn't have the bottle and would never do it. Driven on by Dave's dare I plucked up the courage and made my way to the stage. I was welcomed by the lovely MC and then told to go my own merry way and have some fun with it. I climbed to the top of the pole, in my trousers and boots which are not ideal pole dancing garments, and surveyed the audience. There were a good couple of hundred folk watching and I felt I owed them a show. I proceeded to try and replicate some of the moves I had seen throughout the evening but don't think I was too successful. I got down, in one piece thankfully, and got a nice kiss from the hostess who said I did a good job. Later on in the night there were a few encore requests which I felt obliged to honour, scarily I enjoyed the pole dancing and may have found a new career should the fire service ever become too boring!!!

All in all it was a cracking night and much fun was had by most, would love to say all but there is no pleasing some people, of the Red Watch. Plenty of stories to be told round the mess table for a good few weeks if not months. Watch this space as this may be the launch pad for my pole dancing career!!!

Heart break boxing!!

I have just finished watching the big fight form the weekend, no, not that over rated Amir Khan bloke, Oscar de la Hoya vs Manny Pacquiao. I was amazed by the speed, skill and grace of the much smaller Pacquiao. It almost looked like David against Goliath, in this one however, David was kickin' Goliath's ass from the get go!!

Both these fighters are legends, one in the making and one soon to be done. Pacquiao is pound for pound number 1 on the planet whilst de la Hoya has won world titles in 6 different weight divisions up to middleweight. As I watched the 2 square off in the centre of the famous ring in the MGM Grand Garden Arena, I was nervous for Manny. He was dwarfed by Oscar and I feared he may be blown out of the fight. This wasn't to be, he was classy and rapid. Oscar began to look confused, he just couldn't get close to Pacquiao or trap him in the corner. It reminded me of the old Tom and Jerry cartoons. The giant cat Tom was being made to look foolish by the smart and elegant Jerry. Every time Tom thought he had him cornered, Jerry would just slip by and tap him on the shoulder and smile.

It actually brought a tear to my eye to witness a modern boxing legend being brought to his knees in such brutal but beautiful fashion. It was as if the old pound for pound Champ was being led to the door by the new kid on the block. To see Oscar de la Hoya sat forlornly on his stool at the end of the eighth round, left eye almost swollen shut, being asked by the doctor if he was OK and not really knowing how to answer, it made me sad. I felt for his pride at suffering the most emphatic defeat of his career. Yes, he had been stopped before but never in such a humiliating fashion. It really set me off emotionally, I felt his pain. Most of us have experienced defeat before and can empathise but for this great warrior to be left perched on his stool in front of the world, unable to answer the bell , I found it profoundly upsetting.

As always Oscar de la Hoya did not make excuses, even though prompted to by the interviewer. He said he was out boxed and outclassed by the better man. He didn't blame coming down in the weight divisions, going so far as to say he was fine in the gym so why should the fight have been different? I have always harboured the up most respect for the phenomenal athlete and upstanding human being that is Mr Oscar de la Hoya and am proud to have been around during his hey day. I hope now he hangs up his gloves and keeps giving to the sport via his promotional work, his business partner Bernard Hopkins could learn a thing or two about dignity from him.

As for Manny Pacquiao, the boxing world is his oyster. I would love to see him fight Floyd Mayweather Jnr next but think he may get a bout with Ricky Hatton in first. Whichever of those fights he takes, I will be watching and cheering for the little Filipino. It's not the size of the dog in the fight it's the size of the fight in the dog.

Weekend craziness!!!

I don't know what it is about BMF parties but I tend to get unceremoniously drunk at them. The xmas ball was no exception. It was a smashing evening of dancing, frolicking and drinking. Ok, scrap the first 2 it mainly comprised completely of quaffing cheap champagne. I took a couple of the lads from work ( fire brigade) and Rudie went berserk on his outfit. We were all tuxedo'd up but my man Rudie took it to the next level. Cream jacket with tails, cream trousers, bowler hat, white silk shirt, top hat, cane and white and black shoes. He went down gloriously with the Ballers!!!

There is always an amazing atmosphere at Bmf parties, I think it is down to the clientele of what I would describe as one of the best fitness company in the country, if not the world!! Everyone is out for a good time, there is never an atmosphere and although the punters are from all walks of life, everyone is there for the same reason, to get drunk as skunks!! No, to have fun I mean!!! I liked the little touch with the wrist bands of celebrities, trying to find your celebrity partner encouraged people to break out of the comfort of their own group and make new friends. I was Bobby Brown, naturally, and spent a lot of time searching for Whitney. She must have been hiding from me for fear of me kicking seven bells out of her. Later on that evening I did find her, she had put on some weight since I had last seen her but being the gentleman I am I decided to take her roughly by the arm and drag her up to the champagne bar to claim our free drink. I then gave her a sales pitch about joining BMF and fucked her bad self back off to her mates.

I must say I was also impressed by the efforts of the BMF ladies, they all looked superb in their evening wear and it was a veritable feast for a red blooded male. Obviously I was only looking as "it's not a dating agency". Famous quote from our venerable leader Mr Robin Cope. For me, another perk of the evening was catching up with the instructors who I don't see very regularly anymore. This helps in the getting drunk bit as well. The ball was superb, popcorn, ice cream and hot dog vendors wandered through the masses keeping everyone sustained. I think i must have eaten a dodgy hot dog as I felt very unwell the following day. 

The ball was a massive success and afterwards the warriors crammed into the bar next door for the after party. There was a small ruckus between 2 polish guys and a high ranking member of the BMF head shed, I shall mention no names but Kev Lomas was involved!!! I went to the after after party and stumbled home around 7am the following morning. I was up at 8 to take some of the fighters to Crawley for their first fights, not a shining example of professionalism but got the job done.

A massive thanks to Lou and all her staff who made the Ball a scream, thanks for the invite!!! Don't know where Crispin was mind you, poor show Moyles!!!